


Saints and Strausses

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Everything After [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Holidays, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:50:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could he say he just wanted to be a friend knowing that with her was the only place he wanted to be right now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saints and Strausses

**Author's Note:**

> I’m developing a serious soft spot for this Erin and the journey she’s going on. I don’t know if canon can ever do the storyline justice but I can try with some fanfic.

Erin went to the door when she heard knocking. She’d already had the best Christmas present ever before the holiday even came. But it was two days before Christmas Eve so there were many packages and envelopes being delivered to her mother’s condo over the course of the day. Joanna Parkinson-Kane had a million friends; her daughter envied her for that. There were fruit baskets, bottles of wine (she needed to stay away from those), all kinds of things to nibble on and enjoy.

Someone even sent a glass angel for atop the Christmas tree. Erin was the one who got on the stepladder to replace the one her mother had with the new one. It sat at the top of a 7 ½ foot tall Manitoba blue spruce that was decorated to the hilt. If it fell and broke Erin was going to fell so guilty. So, this time when she walked to the door she was expecting another Fed-Ex guy or some other delivery service.

Her mother had told downstairs to stop calling up and just send them. While Erin wasn’t sure if that was the best idea, the delivery man was probably a great ruse for a rapist or murderer this time of year, her mother said it was fine. Maybe those kickboxing classes she took many moons ago would come in handy if she had to subdue someone. Doubtful, but one could hope.

“What are you doing here?” she asked when she opened the door and saw him. Erin couldn’t believe she’d found her voice. Shock was the only word to describe how she felt opening the door and seeing David Rossi on the other side.

“Merry Christmas to you too, Erin.” He smiled. “May I come in?”

“Um…sure; come in.” she didn’t know what else to say but her shock soon turned into a comfortable smile. “How did you know where I was?”

“A little birdie told me.” Dave replied. “All I had to do was ask nicely. I know you don’t like surprises very much and I probably should've asked before I just took it upon myself to come all the way to New York but…”

“No, no,” Erin put her hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright. Let me take your coat.”

Dave put his bags on the floor and let Erin take his wool and camel hair coat. She put it in the closet right beside them before they were once again standing awkwardly in the foyer.

“Your mother’s house is lovely.” Dave said.

“You haven’t seen the half of it.” Erin replied.

“Would you like to show me around?” he asked.

“What are you doing here?” she countered.

“I knew you weren't going to be alone and I wasn’t intending to check up on you. I just…I guess I wanted to be with you.”

“You guess?” she raised her eyebrow.

“Yeah, I guess.” Dave nodded.

“What about you, David? Didn’t you want to be with your family?”

“My brother is having the family festivities in Towson. There are usually nieces and nephews coming out of the rafters. I always have a good time but this year…”

“What?”

“I don't know,” he shrugged. “The past few months have been a bit trying. I don’t want to say I would be faking it going there and having a good time but…”

“You’d be faking it.” Erin finished the sentence.

“Honestly, I wanted to be here with you. I wouldn’t have to fake anything then.”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you seem so shocked, woman?”

“Well I'm shocked you found me.”

“Why? I knew where your mother lived. I knew you wouldn’t want to spend Christmas alone so I thought…”

“Mom, Nan wanted to know…oh hello, Agent Rossi.” Nora walked in from the den and she wore a big smile when she saw Dave. “I guess I can tell Nan it wasn’t another package.”

“Yes, sweetheart, thank you.”

“Are you here to spend Christmas with us?” Nora asked.

“Sweetheart, I need to speak to Agent Rossi alone please.” Erin said.

“Of course.”

Nora nodded and left the room like the sweet, obedient daughter she could be. Still, Dave was sure there was some of her mother’s tigress ways underneath that sweetness. She was a minor who was spending the holidays with her non-custodial parent. Eli surely wasn’t happy about that.

He could have her declared missing or kidnapped. After all that had happened between the erstwhile Strausses, Dave didn’t think that was out of the realm of possibility. But here Nora was anyway, with her mother and grandmother. She looked happier for it.

“I talked to Ted.” Dave confessed.

“Ted? My son Ted?”

“Yes, I'm talking about your son Ted. He reached out to me about a month ago…I think he wanted to make sure I had his mother’s best interest at heart.”

“He's an amazing kid.” Erin smiled.

“Yes he is. So we’ve talked a bit here and there. I wanted to know where you were spending the holidays so I called and asked. I just wanted to make sure you were OK.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me? I saw you a few days ago.”

“I guess it just slipped my mind.” Dave shrugged.

“Things rarely slip your mind.” She knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth. Erin didn’t know why but part of her didn’t like it. With everything she was going through she didn’t really have time for mazes and puzzles. She and Dave were supposed to be friends, nothing more. Friends didn’t need to deceive each other.

“I know but…”

“Just tell me the truth, David. Please, I have little strength for riddles and games.”

Dave sighed. He knew that. He knew that but he hardly knew how to say the only person he wanted to be with on Christmas was her. There were probably five different places he could’ve shown up at and everyone would've been happy to see him. He’d even turned down an overseas trip with a wonderful female companion because he didn’t want to be with her.

He wanted to be with Erin. But he felt so uncomfortable saying so. Her sobriety and health was her top priority right now and rightly so. He was supposed to be her friend; support her during this time. Even the few sleepovers they had had been completely chaste. Dave slept in her guestroom. Could he say he just wanted to be a friend knowing that with her was the only place he wanted to be right now?

“I didn’t come to make trouble.” He replied. “I meant to ask you about your holiday plans and I just didn’t want it to seem as if I was keeping tabs on you because I was doing nothing of the sort. I'm kinda used to you…I wanted to spend some time with you since I took the week off work.”

“You're kinda used to me?” Erin raised her eyebrow again as a smile quirked across her lips. “Wow David, you know how to make a woman feel special.”

“You are special, and you know it. I'm just here as a friend. I wanted to say it better than that but words seem to be failing me right now. Don’t think I'm not going to give them hell for that.”

“Well there's plenty of room, friend…it’s just the three of us. Mother is having a ridiculous dinner party on Christmas Eve. I was actually going to make myself scarce.”

“Why?” Dave asked.

“A little too much temptation.” She replied.

“You can't hide from it forever. Its everywhere.”

“Tell me about it.” Erin sighed.

“But if you'd like an attractive, witty, sociable cad on your arm I'm definitely willing to do you that favor.”

“I need a dress.”

“We get to go shopping…even better.”

“What am I going to do with you, David Rossi?” she asked.

“I have a few ideas but I've been informed that you need to wait a year before those kinds of things are to take place.”

“You have a one-track mind. I don’t even know if I should hug you.”

“You better hug me.”

Dave held out his arms. Erin smiled, walking right into them. She exhaled as their arms went around each other. The moment was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of her mother’s voice.

“It’s a man.” Joanna said. “It’s a man with his arms around my daughter.”

“Hi Joanna.” Dave opened his eyes and looked at the older woman. She was the spitting image of her daughter, or maybe it was the other way around.

“David Rossi? What are you doing here?”

“Three women, one holiday…I couldn’t resist. C'mon, group hug.”

Dave held out his arms again and soon the three of them were hugging with Erin in the middle. She couldn’t help but laugh. He’d always been able to charm her mother. He’d always been able to charm everyone. Sometimes she didn’t know if it was real or just the Rossi charm. The man should've had it patented.

“Where are you staying?” Joanna asked, moving out of his arms. She noticed that her daughter had not.

“I have a mini suite at the Waldorf.” Dave replied.

“At Christmastime?” Joanna was shocked. “I'm sure they robbed you blind.”

“I'm sure they did.” Dave smiled. “But I know a guy so I got a few dollars shaved off.”

“How long are you in town?”

“I'm leaving on Tuesday morning.” He cleared his throat. “I came to see Erin.”

“Ahh,” Joanna smiled. At least he was honest. That was one thing she remembered about him. He tended to be honest even when it didn’t land on his side. “Well I’ll leave you to it.”

She went back in the den with Nora. Erin looked after her mother, also noticing she hadn't left Dave’s arms yet.

“Wanna go shopping tomorrow afternoon?” he whispered.

“I'm a little concerned how much you like to take women shopping.” She whispered back.

“Not just any women, Erin.”

“I'm also concerned that you're staying for five days in a four star hotel.”

“Where am I supposed to stay?” Dave asked. He pulled away some, looked Erin in the eye.

“It’s got to be costing you a fortune.”

“Money is not a problem and you know it.”

“Still…”

She knew that to be true. Erin wasn’t sure if Dave was a multi-millionaire but he was a millionaire. When he first retired from the FBI he wrote books and toured the world talking about his job. For probably a decade he was in very high demand. Since returning to the BAU in 2007, the demand hadn't changed.

He took off one month a year to tour and do speaking engagements. He’d published two books in the past three years. One a very well received novel that ended up on the New York Times bestseller list. He was bending a lot a rules making money this way but no one bothered David Rossi.

While she was sure he could afford the hotel and the stay that didn’t mean she had to like it. And he was doing it to be close to her…that brought up even more feelings. Dammit, Erin didn’t need feelings right now. It was difficult to push him away when she hadn't even left his arms yet.

“If you know somewhere cheaper I can stay and still receive the attention I'm accustomed to, I'm all ears.” He said.

“I don’t.” she shook her head, finally making her ways out of his arms. “You are four-star needy.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Dave smiled. “So, we’ll go shopping tomorrow and get the perfect dress.”

“Nora needs one too.” Erin said, not really believing she was agreeing to this. Hell, she still couldn’t believe he was really here. “I was going to take her to Express. She’s never liked the stores my mother and I shop in but I think it’s a generational thing. Nora wants to be glamorous like Beyonce. I wanted to be Joni Mitchell.”

“I’ll take you both. We’ll have a Dave Rossi and the Strauss women afternoon.”

“Alright.” She conceded. “But I'm paying my own way…I mean it David.”

“Of course.” He replied, wearing a look in his eye that told Erin she would have to assert that right a few times tomorrow.

“Come in and have something to eat. Mother has so much food I don’t think she’ll ever have time to eat it herself. She’s already calling around to food drives and soup kitchens to see if they can take some of it off her hands. I never understood the need to give someone who has so much all of these things.”

“I can probably relieve her of some of it. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until you invited me in to eat.”

“Oh well, c'mon,” Erin took his hand and moved him toward the living room. “You're going to be quite a welcome guest this evening.”

Dave was glad to hear it. He was crashing after all, so there were all kinds of consequences that came along with that. It looked as if everything was so far, so good. He would be on his best behavior, enjoy the company and make sure his was enjoyed as well. He’d been honest about why he was there so there was nothing else to do but soak up the atmosphere and experience.

***

Nora found the perfect dress at Express, just as her mother knew that she would. It was royal blue, strapless, with a sequined top and an empire waist. She even found a pair of matching kitten heels with bows. Erin approved; it was very beautiful yet still age appropriate. Her little girl wouldn’t be seventeen until March. She had years to look 25.

“I think it’s a lovely dress.” Dave said as they walked the six blocks to Bergdorf’s. It was a beautiful day for December. The weather was crisp but not frigid. It was perfect for a walk.

“Thank you.” she smiled. “And now we’ll head to the mega bourgeoisie store.”

“Oh haha.” Erin playfully pinched her daughter. “My grandmother shopped at Bergdorf’s whenever she came to New York from Paris. She passed that love to my mother, who passed it down to me. It’s called tradition.”

“You tried to pass it down to me.”

“Of course I did. Your generation knows nothing about tradition.”

“Waa, waa, waa.” Nora made a talking motion with her hand.

They laughed as Dave just watched the exchange. He and Erin were holding hands while Nora walked next to her mother. She carried her dress and shoe bags. He loved seeing them just be mother and daughter together. It was a part of Erin’s life that he had never been privy to before. It was also nice to see after all they'd been through with the divorce and the drinking.

Bergdorf’s was crowded, it was always crowded. That went double for this time of year. Erin went straight to Woman’s Wear, beating off the plethora of personal shoppers that wanted to help her. Even in her jeans, blouse, and open peacoat, Erin Strauss exuded wealth and class.

Normally, she would jump at the chance to be waited on hand and foot (she had a personal shopper for her seasonal trips to the store). Today was all about getting something and getting out. It was almost a shame to use the store that way. Bergdorf’s was supposed to be an experience every time.

“Mom, this is really pretty.” Nora held up a dress.

“It’s a little too red for me.” Erin replied.

“What about this?” Dave held up a black strapless number.

“No,” she shook her head. “What do you think of purple?”

Erin looked at the purple wrap dress. It was Nicole Miller; simple but elegant. She didn’t want to be overly formal so this one might be perfect. Nora nodded at the choice.

“I think I'm going to try this on; I like it. I like this one too.” Erin took a maroon, v-neck Calvin Klein dress from the rack. “Sweetie, could you come and help?”

“Sure.” the teenager followed her mother.

“I saw a watch I liked as we were walking in.” Dave said. “I’ll be gone just a couple of minutes. I don’t want to miss the fashion show.”

“Go ahead; this is going to take some time.”

“OK.” Smiling, Dave turned and walked toward the jewelry department.

“Do you think he's up to something?” Nora asked as they walked into the dressing area.

“That’s usually the case.” Her mother replied.

“He's crazy about you, you know.”

“You got the first part right.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s crazy Nora. It’s a good crazy I think but it’s still crazy.”

They both laughed as one of the floor walkers let them into a large dressing room.

“I still like him.” Nora replied, hanging her dress up on one of the hooks.

Erin took off her coat and began to undress. Normally she wouldn’t do such a thing in front of her child but Nora had been watching her mother dress for parties since before she could walk and talk. Sometimes Erin worried that was how her daughter knew her best.

“I like him too. David and I have been friends since before I met your father. We’ve had our share of fallouts over the years but he's been good to me since I've been going through my trouble. Well, before that really but surely since then. David is more than a fair-weather friend.”

“You're doing really well, Mom.”

“I try.” Erin sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. She definitely liked the purple wrap dress. It fell just below her knees and had a nice peek of cleavage. It hugged her hips and Erin felt good in it. Erin lost some weight in rehab and kept it off with her treadmill and dance class. Her new body definitely showed in this dress. “How do I look?”

“You look fantastic.” Nora smiled. “How much weight have you lost recently?”

“I refuse to step on a scale right now. I'm down at least one dress size…as if I need an excuse to shop more.”

“It’s scientifically proven to be cathartic.”

“You sound like your grandmother.” Erin replied.

“She's a smart cookie. That’s where we get it from.”

Before Erin could respond, someone knocked on the dressing room door.

“David?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I was back.”

“I'm going with the purple.” Erin was talking through the door.

“Do I get to see it?” he asked.

“Mmm, I think I’ll surprise you tomorrow evening.”

“Cruelty thy name is Erin Strauss.”

“Don’t you forget it.” she tried and failed not to laugh.

“You're sexy when you're mean to me. Don’t you forget it.”

“David, Nora is in here.”

“I'm sorry Nora.” His tone didn’t say he was sorry and the teenager laughed.

“We’ll be out in just a few minutes.”

Nodding, Dave sat down in one of the many plush chairs. He couldn’t imagine how many fathers, husbands, and boyfriends had been there before him. He was none of those things. Dave found it better not to think about titles and entitlements. He cared about Erin and that was it.

Whatever she needed, he’d do his best to provide it. She wasn’t in this alone and always needed to know that. While it was important for Dave not to be pushy or overwhelming, he still felt that making his presence known was essential. The line he walked was razor thin but so far, so good.

One thing he knew that Erin was capable of was telling him to back off. Dave felt she wanted to be as close to him as he was to her. Even still, he didn’t think that thinking such was a good idea. Keeping things simple was best for all parties involved at the moment. One day at a time wasn’t just for Erin anymore.

“Earth to Rossi.” She waved her hand in front of his face.

“I'm sorry.” He smiled as he stood. “A million things were running through my mind.”

“Like what?” Erin asked as they made their way to the register.

“Do you have matching shoes for the dress you chose?” he asked.

“We’re not going shoe shopping; we’re going home. This city is a zoo right now.”

“It’s Christmastime and I love it. There’s something comforting about it.”

“Maybe we can stop at Starbucks for some gingerbread lattes.” Nora suggested.

“I like that idea.” Dave said smiling.

After Erin paid, she was truly surprised Dave didn’t try to beat her to the punch, she took his hand. Nora had his other arm as they walked out of the store. It felt a little too domestic, which made her want to reject the happiness it created in her belly. After the holiday it would be back to seeing her children every other weekend. And Erin had no idea what would become of this evolving relationship with Dave when they both returned to the BAU.

While things had been calm with Aaron Hotchner and his team for some time, Derek Morgan knew her secret now. Erin didn’t get as far as she had by just trusting anyone. She had no idea what she would be walking into after the first of the year. Her psychiatrist told her not to think too far ahead. She understood that, to a point, but as time inched closer Erin couldn’t help it.

She would be walking back into a lion’s den. She was the head lioness and any sign of weakness meant the alpha males would bring her down without second thought. It would be the true test on this road of recovery. Who knew how many potholes and detours lie ahead. Falling off the wagon, no matter how rickety it got, was not an option.

“I won't come up.” Dave said when they walked into her mother’s building at 355 Central Park West.

“Why not?” Nora asked.

“Well I'm sure you guys want to spend some quality family time together.”

“You’ve already crashed the party, Mister.” Erin replied, not letting go of his hand. “That means you're in on all the family time. You’re coming upstairs. Plus, I'm sure Peter’s up there and he wants to meet you before the party.”

“Peter?” Dave raised an eyebrow as he walked with them to the elevator. It looked like he was going upstairs. Not that he wanted to let go of Erin either.

“He's been Mother’s companion for the past six years. Those are her words as boyfriend or lover seem to be unbecoming. He’s wonderful and I think you two would get along great. You're coming upstairs.”

“I'm coming upstairs.” Dave repeated. “I just wanna make sure that you're sure.”

“I'm sure.” Erin nodded.

Nora pressed 10 when they stepped inside the elevator. It was moving slowly through the floors. When he was sure that Nora wasn’t paying too much attention, Dave leaned to whisper in Erin’s ear.

“You're sexy when you're assertive.” He said, his hand moving down to caress her hip. “I just thought you should know.”

Erin didn’t respond but she reached down to stroke his hand. She was smiling, Dave could feel it, and that made him smile. It had been a good day with the Strauss women. He felt good and wanted to spread that feeling to everyone around him. That wouldn’t be difficult since it was coming off Dave like waves.

***

“Are you asleep, darling?”

“No Mother,” Erin put her Kindle down and smiled. “Come in.”

Joanna walked in carrying a tray.

“Is that too heavy?” Erin went to get out of bed but her mother stopped her.

“I'm fine, Erin. You were an eight pound baby and I carried you everywhere.”

“Yes, a long, long time ago.”

“You're not that old,” Joanna sat the tray in front of Erin before sitting on the bed. “I'm surely not that old. Nora is sound asleep and Peter has gone home for the evening. I thought you and I would have some cocoa. The warm milk will help you sleep.”

 _So will the Lunesta_ , Erin thought as she smiled. Still there was no reason to turn down free cocoa. She also wasn’t going to give up some quality time with her mom. Damn, she had been such a wonderful mother. Erin wasn’t a quarter of the mother Joanna had been to her and her brothers. Where had she gone wrong? She tried to stop thinking about it as she made herself a cup of cocoa. Then her mother did the same.

“I'm not sure if I say it enough but I'm so proud of you, Erin. I've been proud of your every achievement, large and small. You push yourself so hard; you push yourself too hard. Here you are up against one of the highest walls you’ve ever encountered. You just get up and start climbing.”

“I didn’t do it overnight.” Erin replied. “I really hit the bottom, Mother. I circled the drain a few times as a matter of fact. I know I never told you, I never told a soul, but I was drinking on the job by the end of it. I even did a 30 day treatment program earlier this year but I fell off the wagon.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Joanna said.

“Oh yes it is. What kind of example am I setting for my children? What kind of mother am I being if I can't control myself?”

“Well it tells them that no one is perfect. When you try and try for that unattainable goal it just breaks you down. You go through these things so they won't have to in the future. There are ways to be good, great even, without compromising your heart and soul. And if they don’t buy that, kids can be a tough sell these days, alcoholism is a disease. Your strength lies in admitting it and meeting every challenge it has for you.”

“All I want to know is that the next crisis won't send me back to the bottle. I don’t want to do it to myself and I don’t want to do it to you guys.”

“You already know that.” Joanna replied, taking her hand. “You reached the end of your rope, darling. You're on a different journey now…one of discovery and recovery.”

Her mother made it sound so simple. It wasn’t but Erin couldn’t articulate that. She couldn’t drink anymore; period end of sentence. There had to be another outlet for anger, stress, sadness, entertainment, and everything in between.

Never again could she have a cocktail, a glass of wine in the tub, or a beer at a sporting event. Maybe that’s why she was supposed to live life one day at a time. Thinking of sobriety times infinity made Erin want to scream. She swallowed it down with cocoa.

“The party tomorrow could prove difficult.” She admitted.

“You'll hold your head up high and be the charming, intelligent, and engaging woman that I raised. There will also be a wide variety of those flavored green teas you’ve come to love. With David by your side I think you're going to have a very nice time.”

“I'm glad he's here.”

“He's in love with you…again.” Joanna replied.

“Mother…”

“What? Am I wrong?”

“We’re just friends.”

“You're telling me that you feel nothing but friendship?” she asked.

“I'm telling you that’s all I can do at the moment.” Erin replied. “What I feel doesn’t matter. All that matters is staying sober and focused. Throwing a love affair in the middle of that is the equivalent of throwing a baseball through a stained glass window. It can only end in disaster and my picking up the pieces.”

“Well I'm sure that David is willing to be there in any capacity you let him.”

Erin knew that and she appreciated more than she could express with words. Tomorrow before the party she was hoping to go out and get him something to show instead. Going out on Christmas Eve wasn’t her smartest move but there was no other way. There was a little specialty shop in Brooklyn that suited her needs. Erin was sure there wouldn’t be a line coming out the door there.

***

“There you are.” Dave stepped out on the balcony. “I finally managed to get away from Aunt Constance. I think she wanted to put me in her purse and take me home.”

“She did seem quite fond of you.” Erin looked back at him before her gaze returned to the Manhattan skyline. “You can really charm the older ladies.”

“It’s a gift. Aren't you cold?”

He took his jacket off and put it over her shoulders. She looked beautiful tonight; took Dave’s breath away when he walked through the door that evening. Erin smiled when he gave her the white rose. Her smile grew even bigger when he pulled the box from his pants pocket.

 _“What is this?” she asked._

 _“I don’t know if it’s possible for you to be anymore beautiful tonight.” Dave said. “But let’s give it a try.”_

 _Inside the small box was a diamond encrusted phoenix brooch. Erin gasped when she saw it, it was beautiful._

 _“Oh David, I don’t know what to say.”_

 _“Tell me you like it…if you like it.”_

 _“I love it. It’s beautiful.”_

 _Erin took it out of the box and pinned it to her dress. It really did make the outfit. When she went over to the mirror to check it out, Dave followed. He put his hands on her shoulders and kissed the nape of her neck. She was wearing her hair up tonight; he couldn’t resist the temptation._

 _It was going to be difficult not to lean in all night and inhale Pleasures. They called the perfume that for a reason. For the few moments they were alone, he nuzzled close. With a contented sigh, Erin reached back to caress his face._

 _“You're dressed to impress tonight.” she moved away from the mirror and him._

 _“Thank you.” Dave smiled. “The tie was a late addition…I wanted to coordinate.”_

 _“I like it.” Erin smiled. “Come inside; there are lots of introductions to make.”_

 _He took her hand, kissed it, and went to make an impression on all the people she knew._

“This city is so beautiful.” Erin said. “I miss it when I'm not here.”

She pulled a sterling silver cigarette case from her black clutch purse. The Marlboro Mild barely between her lips, Dave had a lighter out. The man didn’t even smoke. But a gentleman always carried a light. He told her that once.

“It can be a nice place to call home.”

“I considered coming back here after rehab. I thought about resigning from the FBI, coming home, and starting all over again. Who the hell does that at 50?”

“Plenty of people actually.” Dave replied. “What stopped you?”

“The physical distance from my children would've killed me.” she deeply inhaled her cigarette. “Anyway, while I have no idea what the next chapter has in store for me, I love the FBI. It’s in my blood.” Erin looked at him. “You have to understand that.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“Its Day 95 David…I bet you thought I stopped counting by now.”

“I knew you hadn't.” he replied. “I lost track, tried to recount, and gave up in frustration. I knew it was over 90. When do you plan to stop counting?”

“I’ll get to 365 and then find something else to do.”

“It looked like you were having a good time tonight.” Dave said, turning the subject. “Did I read that wrong?”

“No.” Erin shook her head.

It was a great party but her parents always had the best parties. It was a small, close crowd, about 30 people. Most had known Erin since her preteens or before. Whether a friend of her parents or an acquaintance of hers, it was hard to be in a room with people who knew you.

At least they all thought they knew her. Following her mother’s advice, Erin was the charming, intelligent, engaging woman Joanna raised her to be. When it got overwhelming, she used Dave or Aunt Constance as a buffer. Nora was all over the place, being introduced by her grandmother as the next generation of exceptional Parkinson-Kane women.

While people knew about the divorce, not a soul knew about rehab. Erin was perfectly fine with that. Not everything was for massive consumption and pontification. She said her leave of absence from the FBI, which had somehow gotten around, was about exhaustion. It was a rather simple answer to a highly speculative question.

A few looked disappointed that it wasn’t more scandalous. Erin was complimented on her skin, her figure, and her healthy glow. How dare she look so damn good at 50, Tish Marlow joked? Beverly Carlton wanted to know who did her work. She even promised to keep it a secret.

There were several men who made moves as well. They didn’t seem to care that she had a date. Alexander von Pepperton was clearly on the prowl for Wife #3. Erin joked with Dave that the number wife you were at on the hierarchy correlated with a drop in age.

She was twice the age of the woman who would probably become the next Mrs. von Pepperton. Of that Erin was sure. It was only later that she realized that Dave had three ex-wives. She felt bad but he laughed at the joke. Erin knew the difference between his genuine and false gaiety…he laughed at the joke.

“Did you laugh at the joke?” Erin asked.

“I'm sorry?”

“Did you laugh at the joke, David? I made fun of Alexander’s hunt for wife #3 and only later remembered that you'd been married three times as well.”

“The joke was funny but I got the point.” Dave replied.

“What point?”

“Clearly you prefer living in sin. I understand completely…its very 21st century chic.”

“Well I don’t know about that but I'm definitely done with marriage.”

Erin didn’t expect to be kissed for what she said. She nearly dropped her cigarette but managed to hold onto it. My God, the man was a good kisser. He never failed to make her weak in the knees. Erin slipped one arm around his neck and ran her hand through the back of his hair.

“No fair,” she whispered as their lips slowly came apart. “I don’t see any mistletoe around here.”

“What? I could’ve sworn…” Dave began to feel around in his pockets. “I know I have some somewhere. Check my jacket pockets.”

Smiling, Erin slid her right hand into the pocket. The left was still holding the smoldering cigarette. She took a puff as she felt the box.

“It’s just a box in there.” she said.

“Hmm, maybe you should open it. The mistletoe might be in there.”

“David…?”

“Yes?”

“I don't know what I'm going to do with you. I swear I don’t.”

Finishing the cigarette, Erin put it in the bucket of small colored gravel her mother kept on the balcony. Then she pulled the box out of his pocket. Taking a deep breath, she popped it open and looked at the necklace.

“It’s Saint Monica.” Dave said. “I know you're not Catholic and I respect that. Still, with all you're going through there's nothing wrong with having as many allies as you can get.”

“Who does Saint Monica protect?” Erin asked.

“She's the patron saint of women, mothers, and recovering alcoholics…among other things.”

“Wow, three out of three. I'm impressed. This is so lovely, thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

“Are you done with the gifts now?” Erin asked.

“Tomorrow is Christmas so it’s probably better to ask me that in 24 hours.”

“It’s just too much.” she whispered, putting the box in her purse.

“If you really want me to stop then I will.” Dave replied. “I just…I'm a little smitten Erin. This is what happens when I'm smitten.”

“Why now? As you stated before, we've had something or other for the past two years. Are we something different now?”

“We were still Dave and Erin the last time I checked. I thought it would be better not to label or put a title on anything. I'm here, you're here; we’re here together.”

“I get nervous when I can't label things.” Erin said.

“That’s a natural human reaction. How about we’re friends who hug and kiss? I think that’s a rather fair assessment.”

Erin ran the words over her tongue. It sounded silly but Dave was right. There had been much hugging and a nice amount of kissing in the past six weeks.

“What's going to happen when I return to the BAU?” she asked.

“Nothing will change if that’s your concern. Are you worried about that?”

“My worries are infinite.”

“Not tonight.” Dave put his arms around her. “You'll think about them, they're never far away, but no worries tonight. Close your eyes for me.”

Smiling, Erin closed her eyes. She felt Dave’s Eskimo kisses and they made her sigh.

“No worries.” He said. “Just think about Christmas trees, presents, family, friends, and winter in Manhattan. Worries will be there in a few days. Tonight you're going to say to hell with them. Day 95 has been wonderful…let’s continue to enjoy it.”

“Kiss me.” she couldn’t believe she said it as the words came out of her mouth.

He wasn’t going to disappoint her. Dave held her close, his lips warm on hers. He coaxed her mouth open with his tongue, moaning with her as the kiss intensified.

“I love you, Erin.” He whispered against her lips.

“I love you too. I'm just really unsure about everything else.”

He caressed Erin’s face and when he went to pull away, she pulled him back. Dave couldn’t help but smile as they kissed again and again.

“Excuse me, Mom?” Nora didn’t want to interrupt. “Nan says its time to say goodnight.”

“I’ll be right in.”

Smiling, Nora turned to go inside. It looked as if Dave wasn’t the only one with feelings where this thing was concerned. She didn’t know what this thing was, and suspected her mother probably couldn’t put it into words, but it was something. Nora thought it was something good.

“You're going to get me in trouble, Agent Rossi.”

“Been there, done that. I think you secretly love it.”

“C'mon, its time to be social again.” Erin took his hand and walked into the condo.

“Promise to protect me from Aunt Constance?” he asked, sliding his fingers between hers.

“Mmm, we’ll see. I kinda like seeing you squirm.”

“I love you too, Erin Strauss. Merry Christmas.”

It wasn’t the big day but it had surely been merry. Erin knew she would be comfortable at home with her mother. She just had no idea if that translated to a happy holiday. Having Nora there elevated her spirit in a way she didn’t even think it was possible. And then Dave showed up.

Friends who hug and kiss sounded silly but sometimes it was what it was. Now of all times was the wrong time to question or sabotage something that had the potential to be healthy and make her happy. How could that big, bombastic, fun love not make her happy? The past three days gave Erin a new definition for Merry Christmas. With one day left she hardly knew what to expect.

Her life changed drastically over the past 95 days. That didn’t mean it was over; not by a long shot. Her mother told her that it would be a new journey of discovery and recovery. It was simple but definitely true. Erin would walk a different path.

Some of the characters she encountered would be the same. Roles might change and others might disappear altogether. Erin was still there though. She was there, she was ready, and even if she wasn’t that wouldn’t stop life from coming at her full speed ahead.

“Aunt Constance,” Erin smiled at her late father’s favorite sister. “We weren't letting you get away without a proper goodnight. David insisted.”

Dave smiled, squeezing his companion’s hand. He only loved her more when she embarrassed him. Damn, he was in big trouble. It was the best trouble Dave had been in for a long time.

***


End file.
